EVERYTHING IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR

For about this few months of being together...
there's a lot of things...that hurts... i dont know whether it was my fault...is it me? am i the one who miss the mark?
is it wrong to brought up the pass?
just to be assuredly certain that your love and heart only belong to me?

is it wrong to mention her name?

why do you have to act like im the one who is at fault...?

oh my dear lover... i know now its already know to you luminously...the reason upon all my action?
is it? do you understand? do you have a good grip of my idea? do you?

its merely just to have NO doubt in your love after all the break up i have gone through, by all odds.

But it seems to me quite vividly, that what is the utmost important to you, is not to ring a bell about her.
is it because if you bring it to your mind, she and all her memories with you will come crawling to you and trap you again in her wonderful magnificent love? and its your deadfall? and you put the blame on me?

is it my fault again if i keep quizzically mention?
you feel to disgorge if i mention her name but you love her more than me!
and you dare to built our relationship based on this stupid basic? it hurts

yes we are already on this ship? sanking ship? broken ship?

dont you love me? just asking a penny of your thought...

Cinta Suci

Salam malam penuh kerinduan dan kesyahduan pada cinta yang telah hilang,

Aku masih tetap di sini menatap sebuah hati yang masih luka... Aku masih juga menanti pada sebuah cinta yang suci...untuk merawati segala luka yang terpendam. Namun, benarkah cinta suci itu wujud? Yang aku sedar cinta manusia terlalu penuh dengan kepura-puraan. Cinta manusia, menghampakan. Cinta manusia, benar mengecewakan. Cinta manusia, penuh dengan nafsu semata-mata.

Yang aku mahukan, sebuah perkahwinan yang suci. Yang terjalin dengan kasih yang suci.
Namun, yang aku lihat...hanyalah kekotoran belaka. Yang aku terjumpa hanyalah kehinaan. Adakah kerana aku yang mencarinya?

Takut. Benar, aku takut untuk menempuh sebuah alam perkahwinan...kalau bukan kesucian cinta yang bersulam.

it really hurts a lot.

Ini Bukan Cerita Nak Ungkit : Just a night bed time story.

when someone fell out of no where, and at the first fucking sight. he was in love. fell in love. 'was!'
he told you that he had been searching for you for centuries..through galaxies...and he have found you on earth... (super fucking sweet).
And he will do anything for you.. from experiences learnt before this... 'this Namja..' should not be trusted at all. because super fucking sweet words only someday act as weapon to hurt you more.
But this stupid fucking lady...somehow try because he looked different. Macam lain. Yeah! you can try this buddy!
out of sudden like a thunderstorm hurt you in the heart...when you already give up your earth to follow this super fucking super power word man to his dreamy planet.
"I just need some space,"
and I will give you that space! Nyte.

And love hurts again.

Sincerely,
from my fucking stupid heart.

Resipi Sandwich Belajar dari Nenek Piah

Bahan2

1. ayam brand sardin 4 tin
2. bawang besar 2 biji
3. Cili hidup 4-5 biji
4. cili api 10 biji
5. limau nipis 1 biji
6. tomato 5-6 biji
7. mayonis 4-5 sudu besar

Senang je!

dh siap potong nipis semua bahan2 tu gaul dgn sardin!

siap.

sebab ada orang tanya resepi siapa sardin semalam... resepi saya la... nenek saya ajar!

sedapkan! :)

Sweet Escape to Cameron Highlands : Cameron Lavender Garden, Tringkap

This was unexpectable sweet escape ever happened in my life.

Anyone is allowed to read this entry for a guide if you wanted to go here. Read, look, feel and have your own opinion for this place. :)

It was Day 2 : On the way back, we dropped by the Lavender Garden. At first I was so excited. Why? because it is my forever favourite flower.

Selamat Datang !

To enter this field of lavender, we need to pay for the entrance. Yup, anything for my FAVOURITE flower.

Tickets!

In my mind, i was imagining a beautiful and sweet fragrance of lavender. I was a bit disappointed because it was not a real Lavender. It was a purple field of shrubs. I think it came from Blue Bell family... hmm, i was crestfallen. Lets see, the so called Lavender..

Mona Lavender

And after the Mona Lavender, we were able to see the Begonia. I had seen this Begonia at my grandmother house and just knew the name was Begonia. I thought it was just a Kampung flower. lol

Begonia

along the way, there was a line of  manmade colourful birdcage..So cute! I think the birds escaped to the garden..hee

Birdcage, Lovebirds :)

And..we can see a field of yellow flowers...It's name is Coreopsis. 

Coreopsis

As I walked uphill, i smell something...nice, sweet fragrance of Lavender... Maybe they just plant it, and it did not bloom yet...but the scent of Lavender was there... let me show you...

Lavender

A close up :)

But still, Cameron Lavender was a beautiful place with field of flower. There was a place where you were allowed to self pick the flower and it cost RM 2 per flower. what flower was that? Its Daisies! I love it too. It was located at the Cameron Lavender Jam Factory..

Jam Factory

There was a swing! Behind me you can see the flowers... at my right side was the jam factory... They picked the strawberry from the farm and make the jam...

"Laju, laju... Buaiku Laju...."

The lovely Daisy

I am the special flower among the other flower...hehe

Homemade Jam, the Jam Factory

I was asking this two cute little sister because they were looking at me when I wanted to take picture at the Big Bee... I knew by right they wanted too... lol. Whose child is this? Maybe somehow and someday, we will meet again! Oh, by the way, please ignore my preggy looking tummy!

The Two Sister

The Strawberry Booth

I really really want this teddy bear...!

As I walked around there were a line of shops with lot of sourvenir. There were bouquet of fresh roses sold here...also,the fresh strawberrry drink. Yummy.

Sourvenir

I love the bench, the colour and the drink! I was so excited of getting the RM 2 flower. lol

~ The End of My Cameron Lavender Story~

*All the non editted pictures above belong personally to this blog owner, Tq.

Aku ingin kembali

Puas diri ini memberontak dengan segala ketentuan yang telah ditetapkan untuk aku.

Puas. Hinggakan aku berasa benar-benar lelah. Jalan ini jalan aku. Jalan untuk aku. Kenapa hati ini selalu sangat tidak bersyukur. Apa yang telah menjadi tanggungjawab tetaplah menjadi tanggungjawab. Aku terlupa. Asyik dengan kemahuan dan keinginan diri sendiri. Semakin aku cuba semakin aku tidak dapat lari daripada lingkungan yang sudah menjadi takdir untuk aku. Hari ini aku sedar tentang sesuatu perkara. Aku sebenarnya dah terlupa pada tanggungjawab aku. 

Jalan-jalan beli makanan tadi ada suatu peristiwa yang aku tak dapat nak ungkapkan macam mana perasaan aku. 

Dekat tangan aku ada sebungkus nasi, air nescafe dan tekak aku masih memaksa tangan dan kaki aku untuk beli keropok lekor walaupun kulit aku allergik sebenarnya. Mata aku nampak dua orang makcik yang tengah beli keropok tu juga. Masing- masing beli seringgit je. Lepas tu aku nampak diorang pergi. Sedih sbb kat tangan aku ada banyak makanan. Lepas tu terbayangkan kalaulah diorang tu mak aku. Terus teringat ibu dekat rumah dengan adik-adik. Diorang makan apalah kan.

Balik bilik tak jadi makan. Cuma makan keropok lekor je. Nasi simpan petang la pulak.

Satu lagi pelajaran untuk hari ni.  Bila teringat ibu dengan adik-adik semangat nak belajar tu datang mencurah-mencurah. Harap tiga hari ni dapat study betul-betul.

Man jadda wa jadda. 

Bila mata nampak dapat markah sikit, hati ni kecewa sebenarnya. Tapi bila aku fikirkan balik, ye lah. sesuailah dengan araf usaha kau kau, diorang dapat markah tinggi sebab diorang usaha. Lepas tu teringat ibu. Terus rasa sedih balik. Maafkan Manja ibu. Manja akan cuba usaha untuk baki-baki hari yang tinggal ni. Semoga cita-cita kita bersama dapat dijelmakan menjadi realiti 25 Jun 2015 ni. Aminn, Ya Rabbal alamin.

Tentang perasaan pulak, hal sensitif ni. Bukan aku nak cerita sangat la, Tapi, sekarang ni, lepas break up 25 Jun 2014, (eh macam kebetulan pulak harap tarikh ni aku happy untuk tahun ni. aminnn). perasaan cinta aku dah tak ada. Kosong. Balik dengan abang sebagai syarat perjalanan hidup. Aku rasa abang sedar kenyataan ni. Maafkan saya. Perasaan cinta tu dah tak ada. Mungkin suatu masa nanti. Kalau tak kahwin, aku nak ambil anak angkat. hehe.., because i love babies so much.

Semoga pengakhirannya bahagia, aminn :)

Puisi Rangga Untuk Cinta : Filem Ada Apa Dengan Cinta

mesti pernah menonton filem 'AADC' kannn... dan hari ini adalah tentang beberapa nukilan puisi yang didendangkan di dalam movie ini ingin aku kongsikan di sini. Puitis. Indah. Menusuk kalbu.

one of my favourite! and the best part is...

"Kulari ke hutan kemudian menyanyiku

Kulari ke pantai kemudian teriakku

Sepi sepi dan sendiri

Aku benci

Aku ingin bingar

Aku mau di pasar

Bosan aku dengan penat

Dan enyah saja kau pekat

Seperti berjelaga jika ku sendiri

Pecahkan saja gelasnya

Biar ramai

Biar mengaduh sampai gaduh

Ah...ada malaikat menyulam

Jaring laba-laba belang

Di tembok keraton putih

Kenapa tak goyangkan saja loncengnya

Biar terdera

Atau aku harus lari ke hutan

Belok ke pantai ........."

karya asli : Chairil Anwar

this is my favourite...

ever!

Bosan aku dengan penat...
dan enyah saja kau pekat...
seperti berjelaga jika kusendiri...

the other one, which blows my mind!

"Perempuan datang atas nama cinta

Bunda pergi karena cinta 

Digenangi air racun jingga adalah wajahmu 

Seperti bulan lelap tidur di hatimu 

yang berdinding kelam dan kedinginan 

Ada apa dengannya 

Meninggalkan hati untuk dicaci 

Lalu sekali ini aku melihat karya surga 

dari mata seorang hawa 

Ada apa dengan cinta 

Tapi aku pasti akan kembali

dalam satu purnama 

untuk mempertanyakan kembali cintanya.. 

Bukan untuknya, bukan untuk siapa 

Tapi untukku 

Karena aku ingin kamu 

Itu saja"

karya asli : Chairil Anwar

the last paragraph was so like exploding my heart...hehehe

bukan untuknya, bukan untuk siapa...

tapi untuk aku...

kerana aku ingin kamu..itu saja...

ouchhh.... this is the exact way a guy should have be!